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Saturday, July 7, 2007

Because I'm Soooo Smooth

All of this holidaying and travel has not been kind to my arthritic neck. It is painful for me to sit here and type this entry. I went to the osteopath on Wednesday and he put his magic fingers to work on my neck. It hurt sooo good. He was able to stretch the muscles some, but I was still stiff. He gave me a sample pillow to try. It's one of those memory-foam kind of pillows. It's a bit low for me, but it's still better than the pillow I was using. I'm going to have him order a medium pillow. I have no idea of the cost, but at this point I really don't care.

I stopped at the pharmacy and bought a cold pack because I've only been using heat. It did help a little bit in that it numbed the area for a little while. I also bought an Omron Elepuls TENS unit. Apparently, there's no need for a prescription here unlike in the U.S.. I had a TENS unit that I bought several years ago, but it didn't last long and wasn't nearly as effective as this one is. Unfortunately, I can only use it for 15 minutes, otherwise, I could end up making matters worse.

After all of these home remedies, I still woke up this morning feeling worse than ever. I felt woozy and my right arm and hand was tingling. I decided to go to the doctor. He gave me a cortisone injection, muscle relaxer, pain medicine, and a vitamin for the nerves (I didn't know there was such a thing). I also took .25 mg Xanax... I'm so smooth!


When I got home from the doctor's, I checked the stats for my blog. I know most of you get some weird, sicko search terms leading to your sites. Some of the stranger ones that have turned up here are :

  • panties shoe salesman
  • sex love and hot wommin
  • exposes her thong
  • accutane and blistered lips
  • Romanian dancers
  • topless
  • buy anchovies jason in singapore
Today's was from Russia using the translator... "masturbator with management through USB". Has someone really invented a USB-powered dildo? If so, that's just ^&*%ing incredible. Sign my ass up please. Better yet, power my muffin via USB for god's sake.***


I saw this rating thing for blogs yesterday. I'm sorry I can't remember whose it was because I've got my buzz on. Anyway, I went over to rate mine...

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

I wonder what the rating will be after this post?

***Today's post was co-authored by WHH as I got a little too smooth to finish it myself!


Flumadiddle said...

"Power my muffin via USB" has to be one of the most random and funniest things I've ever read.

Thank you.

mrsmogul said...

My blog is probably PG. Hmm I have to check it out! As for TENS, they offered it in the UK. I never used it. I WAS LIKE GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!!

Webmiztris said...

lmao! seriously, I think I did hear something about a USB vibrator. what WILL they think of next?! lol

Shyanne said...

i thought my blog would've been rating R as well but apparently it's only PG. i don't know why i'm disappointed. haha

crys said...

oh! can i add you to my flickr

Diana said...

Of course, that would be so cool!

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Sorry you're not feeling so good. But what is a "Omron Elepuls TENS unit?"

Diana said...

Flumadiddle -- I had some help with that!

Mrsmogul -- I tried the epidural thing about 3 years ago, and nothing happened. It just cost a lot of money.

Webmiz -- Yeah, now that I think of it, I could use that USB port for a LOT of things. Hmmm....

Shyanne -- I'm still "Rated R". I think that site only scans the first page of your blog.

Crys -- Thanks! I just saw your pics and they're so fun! I love your puppy.

Cherry -- Thanks, I'm starting to feel better now. A TENS unit actually delivers electrical stimulation to your muscles. Yessirree! I put one pad inside each shoulder blade. Using the remote control, I turn the power up to however much I can tolerate. It makes my shoulders jump, but damn, if it doesn't kill the pain for 15 minutes! It's a great invention. It's been around for a long time because when I lived in Chicago the company I worked for marketed them for a while.