A New Life in America

This past summer has been hectic and downright overwhelming at times. Hence, no posts from me. I've missed blogging, but the whole "Oh cool, this will be a great thing to write about" completely disappeared for me.  

Every time we move it seems I have to reinvent myself to adapt to the new environment.  It didn't take me long to adapt to Singapore, except for the heat.  I fell in love with living there.  Living as an expat in another country has a lot of drawbacks, but living in Singapore was almost like a vacation for me the entire time I was there.  Of course, that was not the case for WHH, but he loved his work and we made a lot of wonderful new friends. 

Repatriation has not been as easy for me as my transition to Singapore.  I was used to apartment living, no stairs, a pool we could use year-round for exercise or just relaxing and visiting with our friends and neighbors.  We walked or took a short cab ride to where ever we needed to go so there was no need for a car.  Groceries were delivered to our apartment.  I had help with house-cleaning and ironing.  We essentially had no bills to pay because our rent was already deducted from WHH's salary.  It was too easy for me, and I got spoiled.

Upon our return, it was back to "real" life for me -- a much too-big house without my sons or my Woofie (my 14-year old Terrier mix) this time.   I've felt a little lost as to what my purpose in life is supposed to be now that I'm back.  I enjoy taking pictures and making my silly videos, I love the internet and have made so many new friends via blogging, Facebook, and Twitter.  It's amazing the connections and reconnections one can make.

I've missed my Woofie so much the last four years.  We've always had pets, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for the obligations of pet parenthood.  Adopting a pet is a decision that one cannot make on impulse.  

It wasn't until my friend, Mary, posted pictures and videos of all of her precious puppies online  that I realized I needed to get another dog.  Not just any dog, but a very special breed -- a Havanese.  Mary lives in Connecticut (we've known each other now for about 20 years), but she told me that her friend had a litter of Havanese pups that would soon be ready for adoption.  I was so excited until she told me the cost of one of those beautiful puppies.  I wanted to cry!  

Then Mary suggested that I check out the Havanese Rescue, Inc. website because she's a volunteer with them.  I did, and immediately my heart went out to little Isabella.  HRI contacted me the same day that I sent my application to adopt.  It was explained to me very clearly that it's not me who chooses the puppy.  HRI makes the decision by committee as to who is most suitable for the puppy.  So, I tried very hard not to get my hopes up.  Eventually, the foster mama called to tell me that she felt Isabella needed a home with other dogs.  She suggested I check the site for other dogs available for adoption and I did.

That's when I discovered Clyde and Hunter, 3-year old brothers who needed a new home because their previous family ran into financial difficulties.  I applied to adopt them both because of what Isabella's foster mama had told me, and I also said that I would drive down to Florida to get them.  HRI required four references (and they did call and speak with them) and a home inspection.  It is a very intensive process, but its all for the safety and happiness of the dogs.

I am very pleased to tell you that we were approved for the adoption of the newest members of our family, Clyde and Hunter.  When I arrived at the foster mom's home in Florida, I heard all kinds of barking behind the door.  I knew that she had four of her own Havanese.  She led me into her home and had me sit in a big comfy chair.  Immediately, Clyde was in my lap licking my face.  Hunter went hiding behind her chair.  She brought him around to meet me, and I fell madly in love with these two black and white balls of fur!  

Soon after bringing mah boys home, I realized that I needed to do whatever I can to help protect this precious breed.  I'm very happy to announce that last week, I was officially approved as a Havanese Rescue, Inc. volunteer.  The purpose I was searching for found me.  Life is good.

Gimme One Reason To Stay Here...

And we'll turn right back around...

Living in Singapore was a wonderful experience for both of us. It's hard for me to put into words how special it was for my WHH (Way-Hot Husband = Michael). He was able to work with a team of exceptional talent that had been without leadership for several months. It didn't take long for him to learn about each of his team members' talents and their willingness to work toward the unusual goals that his team had set.


Honestly?? I was almost sick of hearing the acronym for the new platform that his team had developed! He was on the phone most nights with Europe or the U.S. along with the Singaporean team members for the last 2+ years. The coolest part is that the entire project has been successful and nothing like this has ever been done before.

I have always been proud of my husband. He is loving, honorable, trustworthy, sincere, and a loving father -- qualities that aren't always so easy to find. What an adventure the last 30 years has been. It sure doesn't seem like it's been that long to me.

I think this video sums up what I'm trying to say, but in pictures instead. I would prefer to say, "We'll see you again soon!" rather than "Farewell".

Some Good News

Good news! Miss Ann's raffle has raised almost $5,000 -- enough money to send Lisa and her family to Disney World, plus a little extra for her to use however she wishes. Honestly, it is just awesome that so many people came together to help a friend realize her dream before she starts chemo treatments.

Lisa plans to attend TequilaCon '08, too since she lives in the area. I'll actually get to meet her after reading and commenting for a year! There will be much squeeee-ing, hugging, and kissing going on at the Lounge 'n Lanes in Philly that night. Especially, when we'll have the likes of Dustin wearing the very special outfit his mom sent him. ROFLMAO!

The other good news is that our niece, Alex, and her boyfriend, Adam, are out of the hospital. Adam was fortunate in that his injuries were not too extensive because his seatbelt did not break. He had two broken ribs and the right side of his body was bruised.

Alex was not so fortunate. She was driving. Probably too fast, but do you know any 19-year old who doesn't? It was raining, and she hit a bad pothole that she couldn't see. I'm fairly certain that she was driving her dad's big Chevy truck and the seat-belt broke. The truck flipped numerous times (I think 5), she was ejected, the truck rolled over her left shoulder and her arm was completely severed. She also sustained a broken eye-socket, broken jaw, a laceration on her face, and significant blood-loss (there could be more, but this is all I can recall).

A passerby helped them, found her arm, and called for help. They were transported to Methodist Hospital, the trauma center in Indianapolis. However, none of the surgeons there wanted to attempt to reattach her arm because her shoulder was so damaged. I think it was her big brother, Matt, who made the decision to find another doctor willing to attempt the surgery. Her parents were in Florida at the time of the accident (they're moving there), so a lot of the decision-making was on his shoulders. He just turned 24 April 13, but has served two times in Iraq. He told his mom and dad, "This was the hardest thing I've had to do in my life." I guess you do what you've got to do, and he did a fine job!

The doctor willing to attempt to reattach Alex's arm was at St. Vincent's Hospital. She underwent numerous surgeries to remove dead tissue and bone, transfusions, as well as litres and litres of fluids. By the end of the weekend her little body weighed 50 pounds more than when she was admitted.

The doctors decided to allow her eye-socket to heal without surgery, but they repaired her jaw with a titanium plate rather than wiring it shut because of nutritional concerns. We actually got to speak with her last Sunday on the phone. She'd only had the tube removed from her throat hours before, and her voice was remarkably strong.

So far, she's stable and healing well. She was released from the hospital Saturday, and even posted a short note on Facebook saying that she won't be on the computer much for a while. She's got a long row to hoe, but I know she can do it!

Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and kind words for both Lisa and Alex. They mean a lot to all of us.

This is a tough post for me to write

A lot has happened in the last 24-hours and I need to let you know the latest. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for going to Lisa's and Miss Ann's blogs to offer your kind and generous support. If you haven't yet, I hope that you will take a bit of time to go to Lisa's blog, click on the "comment" button, and leave her some words of encouragement -- yes, even though you don't know her.

Here's what she says in the comments section of her blog...

"I want to reply to each and every one of you. I mean that in all sincerity because your comments mean so much. I have been printing them and so far have 43 pages!!! They will keep me strong and remind me what to be grateful for on the days I feel weak and feel like I can’t fight.

I’m grateful for all of you! "

She's an amazing woman who is such an inspiration to all of us.

Here's an update from Lisa:

"... It turns out that I have tumors on my liver and abdomen. This is an aggressive cancer that seems to be spreading fast. I’m inoperable although my only hope may be that Johns Hopkins is the only hospital on the East Coast that may be willing to try surgery to “debulk” the tumor in my abdomen but it’s very risky.

Using chemotherapy at this stage in the game may or may not produce good results..."

An update from Miss Ann (she's hosting the raffle):

"...We’ve reached $3000+! Since people don’t like to insure two time cancer survivors, and since the raffle is still running and even MORE stuff has been donated, which I will post tomorrow, I’m asking for the donations to continue to help with medical expenses and such. As I said yesterday, the raffle might end early depending on what goes on with her at her next doctor appointment sometime next week. I have to pull it abruptly if she needs to go NOW. You guys are the greatest. Seriously. Your thoughtfulness and caring are amazing. Thank you so much..."

Another blog friend, whom I haven't met yet has made the following video. It is beautiful and makes me very proud to be a part of the blogging community.



Now, I need to ask for your love, support, good vibes, and prayers. Our niece, Alex and her boyfriend, Adam, were in a terrible auto accident yesterday in Indiana. It was raining, the country road was slick, and they hit a pothole. I don't know many more details except the truck flipped 7 times. My niece was thrown from the truck and her arm was severed. Adam found her arm, and called for help.



They were both airlifted to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. Alex was assessed there and the doctors determined that she could withstand the surgery to reattach her arm. She was then transported to St. Vincent's Hospital. She made it through surgery and her arm's circulation is good, but she has started running a fever and is in critical condition. She also has significant facial injuries, but the swelling has to go down before the doctors can do anything.

It's my understanding that Adam is still at Methodist Hospital in critical condition suffering from internal injuries and hemorrhaging. Unfortunately, I don't know anymore than that at his time.

It is very hard for us to be so far away when something as devastating as this happens. The movers arrived here this morning to begin packing our household goods. Michael packed up a lot of things today and took them to the service apartment. I still have a bunch of forms to fill out, but I'm getting there -- slowly, but surely. I promised Lisa last night that I would stop procrastinating the shitty stuff that I hate to do.

I'm so thankful for technology, the internets, and the beautiful people behind those computer screens. I'm pretty sure I'd be a total basket case right now if I didn't have them. It felt good to talk to Jimmy and my Mom on Skype this morning and to be able to see them. They had been to see Alex, and it was terribly difficult for them to see her little body so battered and broken. So, once again, I thank you for your love and support. It means a lot to me.

Sometimes We Need A Little Help from Friends

I was going to write about our anniversary evening, but something more important has come up and I need to ask for your help.

I know many of you don't understand this blogging business or the friendships that I've made over the last couple of years. After I started reading blogs, I began to know these people -- probably even better than some of my In Real Life (IRL) friends.

We interact with comments on each other's blogs, Flickr, Twitters, chats, etc. My circle of blogging friends are talented writers, smart as hell, and almost always very funny. I'm always drawn to people who have a sense of humor. When a fellow blogger has a crisis and shares it with us, the blogging community rallies in support. These friendships are real. Connecting with other bloggers all over the world has helped me tremendously while living in Singapore. I'm not so sure I would've adjusted as well as I have without knowing these wonderful people were out there and willing to lend a hand if I needed it.

One of my favorite blog friends is, Lisa, a 41-year old wife and mother of two beautiful daughters. I've been reading her since the beginning of last year. She spent a lot of last year in a coma as well as suffering amnesia resulting from surgery for ovarian cancer. Even though she was in the hospital or at home recovering from March to September, she still managed to graduate from college in October. She went back to work and started working on her Master's degree. She is an amazing woman, honest and forthright.

The following is a quote from Lisa's Promises, Promises post from last November:

Changed jobs
Battled depression
Seen my father on a ventilator after having two heart attacks
Turned 40 and had a mid-life crisis
Battled depression
Had cancer
Survived six surgeries
Was in a coma
Had amnesia
Battled depression
Couldn’t walk
Had numerous other medical complications
Battled depression
My dad had a heart transplant
My mother was diagnosed with cancer
Battled depression
Graduated from school
Started Graduate school
Battled depression
Lost 60 pounds
Battled depression

Yesterday, Lisa wrote that she has cancer again, and it has spread. As I said, when a friend is going through rough times, the blogging community rallies. In this case, Miss Ann Thrope, decided to host a raffle of one of her beautiful afghans to earn enough money for Lisa and her family to go to Disneyworld. Since then, a lot of other bloggers have donated prizes to the raffle too. Check out Miss Ann's post for the additional prizes. All of them are very generous and given from the heart.

This is a cause very near and dear to my heart. I hope you'll consider a donation.

Lisa and her family went through hell last year (that is an understatement if there ever was one). They deserve to have some fun times together without worrying about finances.

A couple of other things I ask of you... go over to Lisa's place and leave a supportive comment. Yes, even if you don't know her. Bloggers love comments and feedback. At a time like this, it is even more important.

If you believe in the power of prayer, I would ask you to keep Lisa and her family in yours. If you don't believe in prayer, please just think good thoughts for them and donate as much money as you can afford.

Thank you, my friends.

Things Are Looking UP!

It pretty much sucks getting older... we fight the battle of the bulge, we fight the cholesterol and the triglycerides, and we lose our hair -- all over! Damnit, that really does a number on the ego. Seriously.

Asians tend to have very sparse or almost non-existent eyebrows and their eyelashes are rather short. Caucasians on the other hand, mostly have eyebrows and eyelashes, but we lose them as we get older.

My friend Jing and I went to get our eyebrows tattooed last month, and I was very pleased with the results. Jimbo and I were talking on Skype the other day, and he said he thought I looked younger. WOO-HOO! Such a good son he is.

I went for a touch-up this past Friday because the tattoos fade after a bit. They're only semi-permanent, unlike regular tattoos. The eyebrows don't hurt that much, but the eyeliner did -- especially the lower lids even though she applied a numbing gel. My eye was twitching so much that Emily (the artist) had to press on my eyes to keep them from twitching! Owww! By the time I left the place, both eyes were completely numb and my vision was blurry. The price we pay, right?

Yeah, well, I'm happy with the results and also happy not to have to draw eyebrows everyday to keep from looking sick. I hate that. They're a bit dark now, but they'll lighten and look more natural in a few days. They also will "do" lips, but since I'm addicted to lipgloss there's really not much reason for me to have mine done.

Everyone at the center is friendly and helpful. The facility is spotlessly clean, the treatment rooms have "spa" music playing. and are quite comfortable. and it smells really nice, too. If you're interested in finding out more...

Derma-Aesthetics Centre
3 Killiney Road #01-03 Winsland House
6836-8388
www.erabelle.com

Saturday evening we met up with Nabil and Shyanne at Pete's Place for dinner, but the first order of the evening was my purchase of a brand new Macbook from Shyanne. Yeah! I'm so pumped. After we gabbed about how much I'm going to love my Mac, we ate dinner which was definitely not on my diet (spaghetti and meatballs), but damn it was yummeh! I ate every bit of it! We went upstairs to mezza9 for drinks and had the best time chatting and laughing. They definitely know how to make a great martini, and Shyanne and Nabil are so nice to hang out with a couple of old people.

My Macbook is simple to use, it's incredible! We just took it out of the box and turned it on. I plugged my mouse in, and it worked without having some pop-up saying that it "Found New Hardware". I.LOVE.IT!

The plans for our repatriation are starting to come together. We're going to move into a service apartment April 1. The packers will start packing our stuff April 5 and we'll hand over this apartment on the 15th. We will take the direct flight from Singapore to Newark April 30 (we leave 4/30 and arrive 4/30 cool, huh?). Then we'll rent a car and drive down to Philadelphia for TequilaCon '08! I've booked a room for us at the Holiday Inn in the Historic District, for May 2 and 3. Unfortunately, we'll have to leave early on the 4th because of our flight to Atlanta. We don't feel like arriving late at night. It's an hour's drive from the airport to the hotel where we'll be staying until our "stuff" arrives.

I am so excited about getting to meet Dave (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!), Jenny, Mr. Fabulous, Shelli, Lisa, Karl, Avitable, Miss Britt, plus a whole bunch of other bloggers I haven't read yet, and with the help and generosity of Avi and Miss Britt.....

Hilly!

If you've got a Paypal account, it would be so nice of you to give 1, 5, or $10. All of us bloggers would appreciate it because it wouldn't be a good TequilaCon without her (as you can see from this photo)

(Photo courtesy Hilly's camera)

I've been reading all of these bloggers for over a year now, and they are friends to me. I am so grateful that my WHH is willing to do this for me. Our 30th wedding anniversary is April 1... his gift to me is to fly us home in Business Class (rather than the back of the bus deal as we're accustomed) and attending TequilaCon '08 in Philly.

With all of the travel I've done over the years, I've never been to Philadelphia before! This trip is going to be a great incentive for me to do the inventory, move to the service apartment, box up all of our important documents and bills, give away appliances we can't use in the U.S., etc. Moving is always a huge disruption in our lives, but moving overseas is even more complicated. It's worth it, but it still takes a toll.

I'm glad that I'll get to meet everyone at TequilaCon AND get to see our family and friends. That's what life is all about!

The Simple Life -- A Guest Post by An Expat

The Simple Life

Not long ago I was asked to articulate on the easy life of being an expatriate in Singapore. This seemed like a simple enough request. What’s not to like for heaven sakes?:

o Free room and board during my expatriation

o All utilities paid by my company

o My house in the US fully under the management of a third party provider, including but not limited to, house payment, real estate taxes, lawn service, etc.

o Salary adjusted to the region, i.e. US gross pay, net of all taxes, car payments, house payments, utilities, and then adjusted to the local currency.

o Club Dues to be equal to the Dutch Club. This is not a country club kind of place, but a club for expatriates of the various countries to be with people from their same region of the world. Being a Dutch company, the rate at the Dutch club is the lowest one can get. If you want to join the British Club or the American Club one must ante up for the difference at your own expense.

o 1 set of round trip tickets back to the US on an annual basis to say hello to loved ones. (coach class) Flight time is 25+ hours from door to door.

I mean really, what more could a couple ask for? “Piece of cake” as my father used to say. Living the High Life!

What often slips through the corporate crack are a few of the “intangibles” of being overseas:

o Medical bills are paid by cash only, with reimbursement only coming after painstaking attention to detail and the patience of Job as one waits to see if the Insurance Company actually accepts and pays according to the rules. Nothing like having $15k owed one for almost 9 months.

o A 65-page Federal Income tax submission that only happens 2 years after the filing date.

o The inability to communicate “live” with anyone in the US during a normal business day. At best, one is 12-13 hours ahead based on Daylight Savings Time. “Our office hours are from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time.” That effectively equates to 10pm to 8am Singapore time to deal with the US.

o An expat agreement does not, by its sheer nature, guarantee one a job upon the end of the assignment. “We will do our very best to place you in a similar position as you have today, but if we are unsuccessful, then we promise to get you and your belongings back to the US.” Whoa Fucking Nellie -- thanks for asking me to go abroad and looking after my best interests at the end of the day!

o Having family and friends tell you how much they will enjoy coming to Singapore often to visit. (plan 1 visit per year from no more than 1 person)

o As the dollar goes south faster than a swarm of ducks in the fall, one’s “take-home pay” goes down equally fast. Almost 2-1 when you arrive, almost 1-1 when you leave.

o “We will be moving our corporate office shortly after your return, so please be prepared to move within 1 year of your relocation.”

Would I change a single decision or a single minute of my agreement to accept this expat assignment.. Hell No…!!!!!

o I am emotionally richer for the experience. My wife and I operate on the simple philosophy that we will never wonder “what if we had tried this or that.” We do it with the full knowledge that if we don’t like it, we will just do something else.

o The people we have met and the friends we have made here are both “life-long and everlasting.” Who would ever imagine that you would meet up with someone who grew up but 40 miles from your own small home town in Illinois. I recently asked this person where they were from. Response was pretty standard, “I grew up near Chicago.” I say “Oh really, whereabouts?” “Well, actually I grew up in a small town in southern Illinois but no one would recognize the place so I just say Chicago.” I say, “And that place would be?” Lo and behold, this person, half a world away, grew up just 40 miles from my own very small town of 4500 people in Illinois. Small world indeed.

o The cultural diversity of Singapore has truly taught me the meaning that “all men are created equal.” Everybody, regardless of race or religion, worries about paying their bills, global warming, Iraq, Iran, terrorism, and the perils of global unrest.

o We have been truly blessed (and I am not a real religious guy at the end of the day) to have had the opportunity to experience life in a different place and time.

So, my simple advice to those pondering an opportunity to explore the world, at what is effectively your company’s expense, is to “just do it.” You will be far richer for the experience than money can ever buy..!

Yours Truly,

An Expat

OMG! I've Got Stuff to Write About!

First off, I must apologize to my fellow bloggers for my belatedness in reading your blogs. There are thousands of posts in my Google Reader! Some people do the "Mark all as read" thing, but I just can't bring myself to do it. To me, it feels as if I'm killing someone. If someone felt strongly enough to write, then should I really destroy it? Yeah, I'm goofy that way.

It's been very quiet around here since last Wednesday, but not in a good way. I should have blogged about it then, but I was too lazy or whatever. Around 6 in the evening, I heard a big boom, but that's not unusual with demolition. After the big boom, there was a lot of screaming and shouting. A few minutes later, I heard SIRENS!

Singapore is quiet as far as emergency vehicles are concerned, unlike the U.S. In the 3 years I've lived here, I've heard two vehicles with sirens and it was when Bush was here for a visit. It only happened once while he was here, and I'm not sure why (I'd like to say something snarky here, but it wouldn't be prudent at this juncture).

The siren caught my attention and I went to the kitchen window to see what was happening. I saw a big red vehicle (not like our fire trucks) marked "Civil Defence" and it stopped just past our building. I really thought that maybe someone had been run over by a taxi or something and decided I didn't want to pursue it further since emergency personnel were on the scene (and I don't need to see another dead body).

By Friday, it was still quiet next door. As I was perusing the morning paper, I saw a headline "3 deaths at demolition worksites in past 6 months". I scanned it at first, but then I saw Ardmore Point condo, and I had to go back to the beginning. I was planning to link this, but The Straits Times is being stubborn about "free" articles online. In a nutshell, a "49-year old foreman was crushed to death by a 30kg concrete slab". A stop-work order was issued until a complete investigation can be completed. Wednesday is Chinese New Year's Eve, so I don't see much demolition going on until after the 16th when the New Year's celebration is completed.

Chinese New Year is akin to our Christmahanukwanzakaakah, so this man's family will not be having a "happy new year". All of the men who work for that company will not be earning $$$ for their families either. It is deadly quiet next door, and I feel terrible about it.

Neil's "The Great Interview Experiment" Part II

Curiosity Killer was the commenter before me on Neil's blog. According to Neil's rules, she interviewed me. I hope my answers to bore you to death!

1. How long have you been blogging?

I started blogging just after we moved to Singapore in 2004. I'd only read about it before, but I thought it would be a good way to keep our family and friends filled in on our life here.

2. How do you feel blogging has added to your life?

It has made me take the time to document our life here. If I hadn't started blogging I know that we would forget a lot of our experiences, and that would be a shame

3. Do you find yourself connecting more or less with others?

I read quite a number of blogs and have "met" a lot of bloggers -- virtually, and I consider them as friends. When others share so much of themselves on their blog, it is impossible for me not to feel connected. I've cried many times when a blogging friend is hurting. The first time it happened, my husband looked at me with such a concerned look on his face, that I'm pretty sure he worried about my sanity! Now he knows these blogging friends because I share stories with him, or I'll have him read something I find hilarious.

4. Where are places you've lived in besides Singapore?

I was born in Indianapolis and lived there until I was 18, when I moved to Carlinville, IL (July 4th 1976). I'd fallen madly in love with my husband my senior year in high school when he was attending ITT Tech to become a TV repairman. Once he graduated, he moved back to Carlinville. We would visit each other every other month or so. On one visit, his brother said, "Why don't you just move here and get a job? Then you can decide if you're really in love." It wasn't long before I packed up all of my earthly possessions into my 1969 VW Beetle and settled into "The Valley" apartment owned by Michael's parents. My rent was $60 a month! We married April 1, 1978 and started Brooks TV Sales & Service not long after.

Eventually, my husband's talent and charm came to the attention of the corporate world, and he was offered a job in Skokie, IL. We moved there in 1981 and then our oldest son, Jim, was born in 1982, then Patrick in 1985. Just after Patrick was born a new opportunity arose for my husband's career, and we moved to Orange County, CA. Life was tough because we'd decided that I would be a stay-at-home mom. OMG! We were poor, but we had some really good times there and met life-long friends.

Four years later, the company that Michael worked for before wanted him back. This gave us the opportunity to move a bit closer to our families in the Midwest. In 1989 we moved to Morristown, TN. We lived there (and the boys grew up there) until 1998 when Michael was promoted and we moved to Mahopac, NY.

We loved New York and even went to watch the ball drop in Times Square New Year's Eve. We didn't make it the entire night because it was freezing and we all had to pee! I honestly do not know how all of those people relieve themselves because the restaurants and businesses make their toilets off-limits.

Corporate changes brought another move into our lives. For almost 2 years Michael "commuted" from Knoxville TN to New York, and then from Knoxville to Atlanta where the boys and I had moved in August of 2000. The opportunity for us to live in Singapore arose in 2004. I was reluctant at first, but once I visited I was sure that I would love living here, and I do!

5. Which one of these places do you enjoy living most?

That is a very good question, and one that has been asked of us many times. Each place I've lived has had plenty to enjoy, but there are drawbacks too. I tend to prefer city-living and Michael wants to live on a lake somewhere so that he can fish the way he could in Morristown, TN. I love the peace and quiet of living in a small-ish town, but I love all of the entertainment/restaurant/cultural options of living in a city. How's that for not really answering your question?

6. What is your favorite thing about Singapore? (feel free to name up to 3 things... weather... shopping... buildings... etc.)

How about "all of the above"? It is hot and humid here and the rainy season can be tiresome, but I like the warm weather. I'm not much of a shopper really. It is more of a chore for me, but I do love Takashimaya! Even though Singapore has only been a "country" for 47 years, there's a lot of history here. I love history! It's too bad that so many of the old buildings have been razed over the years.

My very favorite place is the Botanic Gardens. They lie in the very heart of the city, but it is beautiful and relatively quiet. Yes, there are usually a lot of tourists, but there are quiet areas and I love to walk there. I can barely hear the jack-hammers!

7. You mentioned you may not stay in Singapore anymore... why is that?

Michael's initial expat assignment ended December 2007, but it was extended to the end of 2008. Then, there were corporate changes and so now we will be repatriating probably in April, the where is still uncertain.

8. If you can be anywhere in this world, where would you be?

Walking on a sandy beach with my husband.

9. What are the most memorable things for you last year in Singapore 2007?

Probably, when our niece visited and then we flew up to Berjaya Resort in Langkawi. That was awesome!

10. What is the happiest moment that you would carry with you always?

This is a tough one. I'm lucky enough to have several... the day I married my husband and when our sons were born. While we've been in Singapore, our "boys" have become men. They've become responsible and independent of us. That is the most important thing we could ever accomplish in our life.

EDIT: CK asked an additional question in the comments. She suggested that I add it to the interview...

11. If you move away (back to U.S. or elsewhere), would you be changing your blog address too?

Yes, I think I'd like to start a new blog. My friend, Cristina, suggested "A Geeky Tai-Tai in America". I think that's a perfect title. I just don't know which platform I'd use -- WordPress, Expression Engine, TypePad? I'd really like it if one of my blogging friends could design a new template for me. Maybe I should have a contest or something!

I'm beginning to look forward to repatriating, but I know it's not going to be an easy transition. I think blogging will help me get through the tough times.

Thank you Curiosity Killer for your great questions!

Not Afraid of the Drill... or I'm a Big Girl Now!.. or One or the Other!

Friday evening the Way-Hot Husband invited me to join him and his colleague for drinks, but I just wasn't in the mood. So, I stayed home, fixed myself some minestrone soup, and did some blog-reading. I was reading Kentucky Girl's when, suddenly there was a "crunch" in my non-"crunchy" soup. I extracted the offending crunch bit and upon examination realized that it was a bit of one of my teeth! OMG!!!

Now, I'm not a wienie-whiner when it comes to grossness (that's the "Dead Man on the Highway story)... and then there was that time that Jimmy's achilles tendon was sliced to the bone in the bathroom, and then there was that time Patrick got his big toe caught between the cog and chain of an old exercise bicycle at my in-laws, or the time Jimmy went down a flight of stairs and was catapulted out of his "walker". It's just not feasible to have a queasy stomach when you have kids.

Parenthetical aside here: They lived through our ineptness as parents! YAY!

That being said, my sister and I have had similar nightmares over the years about our teeth breaking off/falling out. I had cavities as a kid, and the dentist never got my tooth numb (idiot dentist!). My sister never had cavities until she was pregnant with her oldest son. Yet, we still had the same nightmares. We're both creeped out by teeth breaking off. The other thing that creeps me out is nail injuries. GAH! Please, never show me a nasty nail-bed injury or in-grown toenail. Please!

The thing about the tooth-breakage Friday was that it didn't hurt and that there were no jagged edges. I waited until Monday to call the dentist, but couldn't get in until today. No big whoop.

For those Americans who are new to this blog, please allow me to explain. When you go to the doctor or dentist in Singapore, you are going to see the doctor or dentist -- not, LPN's, RN's, PA's, or hygienists. You see the doctor! The actual doctor takes your vitals, draws blood, gives injections, cleans your teeth! I still find this amazing, and it is so much better than in the U.S.! The doctors and staff remember their patients names, or if not that, they at least recognize your face.

Today, when I sat down in the dentist's chair, he said, "Didn't I just see you?" I replied, "No, I think it's been a while, but I'm here because my tooth broke."

He gets busy looking around in my mouth, but it was a molar on the "dark side". He spots it, and says, "Oh, that's from a crown. No worries, I'll just smooth off the rough edges. You'll still be able to use your night guard when you sleep. There's no need to replace this unless something happens to the tooth in front of it."

I asked him, "Isn't it time I get my teeth cleaned? It seems like it's been a long time."

He checks my chart and says, "Oh, yes, you haven't had them cleaned since December 2006." He promptly begins cleaning my teeth. No cavities, by the way. (Our mail has been screwed up for the last 2 months, so I didn't get the reminder notice -- nor did we get our Christmas present from my parents. It is stuck in Chicago).

Dr. Tan then tells me the same as he did last year, "I'll need to see you in 6 to 9 months. No need to return before that unless you're having difficulties."

The total bill for today was:

1. S$25.00 Consultation
2. S$90.00 Scale and Prophylaxis

That is it! Do you realize how many $$ this man saved us because he said the crown didn't need to be replaced? Oh, and the most important thing is that my gums weren't bleeding (I floss regularly) from that power-washer thingy that he used on my teeth. He didn't hurt me or gouge my mouth as some hygienists have "back home". Honestly, I'd much rather have any sort of medical/dental procedures done here than back in the U.S.

Our dentist is:

Dr. Benjamin T.K. Tan (B.D.S Singapore, M.Sc. (Periodontics), London, M. Clin. Dent. (Periodontics) London)
Tanglin Shopping Centre
#05-21/22
19 Tanglin Road
Singapore 247909
65-63383623

Lists

Several of my favorite bloggers, Kentucky Girl, NYC Watchdog, and Pseudotherapy are fond of lists. I didn't intend this post to be composed of short lists, but that's how it worked out. Here you go....

So, I haven't blogged in 10+ days. I've been lazy, sad, and depressed, and have just not cared about blogging or doing anything else. Having the stupid jack-hammers of death going 6 days a week (oh, that doesn't mean they're not using the digger trucks on the 7th day!) just outside our bedroom, it being the rainy season, and most importantly, not having our "boys" with us, has triggered this malaise.

When we were preparing for our move to Singapore from the U.S., I decided not to bring our Christmas decorations because:

1. We would travel "back home" for the holidays.
2. I knew that our 12-foot tall pre-wired fake tree wouldn't work over here because of the difference in voltage.
3. I didn't want to risk losing/breaking the precious ornaments that were given to us over the years, especially those made by our sons.

The only Christmas things that made it were the wreath from our front door, the IU Santa hat Mom and Dad gave to my WHH, and Christmas CD's.

Christmas 2005 saw us making the rounds of three different cities in about 10 days' time. After that trip we considered the following:

1. There are just too many stupid people traveling at this time of year.
   
2. Dealing with the TSA and U.S. Customs queues just plain sucks.
   
3. The jet-lag is killer.
   

Don't get me wrong. We had a wonderful time, but it was exhausting and we felt like we didn't get to spend enough time with anyone.

So, last year we decided to stay put in Singapore. I booked us a great package deal, the "Romanic Indulgence" at the Mandarin Oriental that included a couple's massage and Christmas dinner along with plenty of other amenities. It was sexy, delightful, and restful. Decorating our home was a non-issue.

I checked out other hotels for this year, but the Mandarin Oriental is the only place that seems to offer a special deal over Christmas. We decided we would just go back for another "Romantic Indulgence" deal until I found out that there was a humongous project that required overtime from everyone. It just wouldn't have been "prudent at this juncture" to squander $$$ for me to be alone in a hotel room while my WHH was working.

I was really sad then (aka big ol' crying jag because I miss our family and friends), but then Alex and Cristina invited us to their place for Christmas dinner. Alex was amongst those working overtime, but he and Cristina prepared all of the favorites including a turkey! Catarina wasn't feeling well, but she would smile if she was sitting in her Mama's lap.

What I learned this Christmas:

1. A young child's smile will always make me feel good
2. There are always good friends who care
3. My husband is the most wonderful man in the world -- think "Gift of the Magi" by O.Henry because of the irony of one of his gifts. It still makes me cry.

I hope that you had a very Merry Christmas with family and friends. I wish you all a very happy, healthy 2008!

UPDATED Life Kicks Me In The Ass Again (and again, but that's life)

Sometimes life just kicks you in the ass, but somehow one still tries to make the best of it.

After posting about my neighbor's death yesterday, I felt a little better. Michael (WHH=Way-Hot Husband) called me about 30 minutes after I posted, but he hadn't seen it yet. It's amazing to me that he called then. I love him for it even though he didn't know why I was sad until I told him. When I began to tell him what had happened, I wanted to cry, but it just wouldn't happen. I don't know why I'm like that.

An hour or two later though, I became nauseous and my heart pounded, and it wouldn't stop. I knew that it was anxiety, but knowing doesn't make that shit stop. I remembered that there were some Xanax in one of our medicine drawers and scrounged around to find them. I found them and broke one in half. It helped, a lot by alleviating the nausea, but most of all, the relentless pounding in my chest.

I Twittered, played Scrabulous, read blogs, but none of those things could make me feel better about myself -- the inadequacy that I felt and still feel. Each time I'm in our kitchen and dining room, I glance over to the pool and "see" what I saw yesterday, but this time I see myself doing what I should've done as soon as my instincts told me something wasn't right.

Why do we second-guess ourselves when our instincts say, "Get the fuck off your sorry ass and DO something?" Why is that?

The other thing that continued to do "summer re-runs" in my geeky brain was "Dead Man On The Highway".

That story begins with attending Alpha Primary's (Morristown, TN) Open House. Mrs. E was Patrick's 4th grade teacher. Patrick and Tony P. were the "best" boys in the class, so she let them do computer stuff most of the day, for the entire school year. Mrs. E. was his favorite teacher EVER... I digress, a lot. My brain is in overdrive.

After we left the school, we had to turn right onto 11E just west of the old Ingles. It was a beautiful early autumn evening in East Tennessee and the sun was a huge orange globe in the west. I turned right onto the highway and into the left lane because we would need to turn left onto Panther Creek Road at the stoplight (I think there was a stoplight then).

After I turned onto the highway there was a tan Nissan pickup truck, now you can't quote me on this because I don't do math OR measurements... but a "ways" in front of us. The boys were in the back seats of my stupid mom-van (gawd, I HATED driving a fucking "mom-van", and that one was just plain bad luck for us too because there's a whole 'nother story before this one!)

Anyway...I'm getting up to speed because its a 55 mph zone. It could be 45, but do you really know? I'm toolin' down the road, and that Nissan is WAY in front of me, but then it slows... slows.... way down and then I see...

A MAN stumbling and bumbling in the bed of that little tan Nissan pickup truck. The boys are in the back seat of this new bad-luck-Mom-van, and are actually not trying to kill each other when I scream, "Jeezuschrist!" (I never say that because, I just do not say that... except for that one time ((ok maybe a couple of other times, but please don't hold that against me)), and the boys immediately come to attention because that is a bad thing to say and only Dad says that!

And then we watch as the man in the back of that pick-up truck stumbles and bumbles himself head-first onto the pavement of 11E just in front of our "Bad-Luck-Mom-Van". That Bad-Luck van was so new I didn't know where the emergency flashers were. I stopped wayyyy behind the dead man on the highway. (I've already told you I don't do MATH so you'll have to picture it, kthx?)

I said a very quick prayer that mostly consisted of "Please, don't let my boys put this 'Bad-Luck-Mom-Van' into DRIVE?"

I found the flashers, put them on, and told my sons in the most scare-the-shit-out-of-your-kids kinda-voice I could muster "DO NOT get out of your seats. DO NOT try to touch anything up here. DO NOT LEAVE this vehicle. I mean it!"

Our sons tried just about everything over the years (between the two of them) that can be attempted by kids. I'm not exaggerating. They were a handful! That early autumn evening? They were perfect! I think that they saw the terror in my eyes when I stopped in the middle of the highway and ran up to try to help the "Dead Man On The Highway". They stayed in the "Bad-Luck-Mom-Van" just as I'd instructed them.

I don't know what I'm trying to say here, precisely. I suppose that I'm not as "special" as I think I am? I can't save people. I'm not an EMT, and really, if I were, I wouldn't have had the equipment to "save" either of these people.

This brings the tears on again, but ok, whaddya' gonna do, uh? (My fav Tony Soprano quote). Life can just suck sometimes. I can't "save" anyone no matter how prepared I try to be.

The lessons I learned from yesterday are that:

My husband WILL NOT swim alone again -- at least when I'm around. I know that I wouldn't be able to pull him from the pool, but I sure as hell could get his head above water and scream for some fucking help! Yes! That's the biggest one, and it really tears me up -- badly.

I also think it's a very good idea to make sure your "particulars" (that's what they're called here) are written down so that if you're all alone people trying to help can know who to call.

If you see another lesson in there, please let me know because my ass has been kicked hard AGAIN, and maybe I'm missing something.

Thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts. It means a lot to me.

UPDATE: The drowning victim was revived and is currently comatose in ICU at Singapore General Hospital. Word is that she had a stroke as well as having blood clots in her leg. I can't imagine that the prognosis would be good because of the blood clot pressing on her brain and then drowning. I know she was without oxygen for at least 15 minutes.

I sometimes feel that the "miracles" of modern medicine aren't all their cracked up to be. I'll just tell the whole world right here and now, I do NOT want to be a Terry Schiavo. We both have Living Wills, do you have yours?

A Dreadful Day

I woke up around 8 -- too early because I didn't go to sleep until after 1 this morning and that was with the help of a sleeping pill. I just don't sleep well when the WHH is gone.

So, I drag my ass out of the bed and wander into the kitchen to start my coffee. As I stood near the coffee-maker looking out the window at the Shangri-La, I started thinking about that stupid Mr. Masturbator guy. Even though I was alone, I laughed out loud at the thought of the pervy creep.

My eyes wandered down toward the pool as usual because it's just nice to look down there, but then something caught my eye. I looked more closely, and I saw someone floating at the shallow end of the pool. I thought, "Whoever that is must be timing how long he can hold his breath." Our boys always loved to play that game. I peered around the corner to see if there was someone else down there, but I couldn't see anyone.

I walked into the dining room to get a better look, and to see if the person had come up for air yet... I watched the person for a few more seconds... NO! I ran into my office to get my cell phone to call the guard house. I was telling myself the whole time, "It doesn't matter if they think you're a nosey bitch for calling them." I watched as the guard ran across the pool deck to see the person in the pool. I could see him yelling at the person, and then he ran frantically to get the pole to pull the person out.

As soon as I saw him trying to recover the person with the pole, I realized he was going to need help. The guard couldn't weigh but more than 90 pounds, and he's probably only about 5' 3"? I already had my cellphone in my pocket, so I grabbed my handbag because my keys are hooked onto the zipper. I got off the lift and ran toward the pool area, but by the time I got there the guard was GONE, but the body was still in the pool!

I could see that it was a woman, but she was fully submerged in the water at the bottom of the pool. Even if I jumped into the water, I wouldn't be able to lift her out. I ran back into the building and yelled after the guard, but there was no answer. "FUCK!" My brain was screaming, "I NEED HELP I have to get her out of the water!"

I started crying because I couldn't think of anyone to call to help me. Then, I saw a couple get out of the lift and run toward the pool. I ran after them, and the husband got the woman out of the water. The wife began administering CPR, but there was no response.

The other security guard came onto the scene and told us that the police and ambulance were on their way, but it was too late. The woman was gone. I saw her belongings at one of the tables, and got her towel to cover her up.

The guard left again, and appeared a few minutes later to say that the victim's husband was upstairs in their apartment (he'd thought he was out of town, but then noticed his car in the garage).

This poor man is going to have to live the rest of his life knowing that while he slept, his wife died alone in a swimming pool.

It is dreadfully and horribly sad, and I am so sorry that I was too slow to help that poor woman. I have no more words.

R.I.P. Charlie

Our son lost his cat, Charlie the King Kong Kitty, to diabetes this week. We'll miss you Charlie.

A bit of Nostalgia

The other day whilst filling out insurance forms for all of the doctors visits, my mind wandered. It got me to thinking about when we were newlyweds. WHH's parents loaned us money to start our own business, Brooks TV Sales & Service. (If my scanner worked, I'd show you pictures of our little store.) I worked at the bank in the loan department, a job that I loved because I got to know a lot of people in Carlinville. I earned a regular paycheck and had medical insurance for both of us.

I think it was about a year after starting our business, that WHH woke up in the middle of the night in pain. He was hot too, but not in the fun way I like. He was having trouble breathing and when the aspirin wore off, his fever would get dangerously high, and he would become delirious. He went to the doctor, and he ran all sorts of tests on him, but couldn't determine exactly what was wrong with him. He sent him home, but I had to work and worried about him becoming delirious and not able to care for himself. I asked to have him admitted to the local hospital.

He was there for more than a week, and yet the doctor still couldn't come up with a diagnosis. He knew it was some sort of viral infection of his lungs, but not what type. One of his lungs would fill up with fluid in the pleural sac. It was scary for him and terrifying for me. Eventually, I asked to have him transferred to Springfield's Memorial Hospital. Our family doctor was able to get the Chief of Infectious Diseases to take his case.

Springfield is an hour's drive from Carlinville. I would go to work, and then at 3;30 when I got out (it was a great job), I'd drive up to see him. He was worrying about his shop and the TV's that he hadn't repaired because he was sick. I ended up calling a guy with whom he'd worked at his first job as a TV technician (or butt-crack TV repairman, as he says). We'd become friends with Ed and his wife, Pat, and if we had some extra money, we'd drive up to visit them for BBQ's at their house or if somebody had paid cash for a job we'd go to a restaurant with them.

Ed and Pat took me out for dinner a couple of times while Michael was in the hospital in Springfield. It was nice to know that we had friends there. Then, on the weekend, they drove down to Carlinville and Ed repaired the TV's for us. It was such a load off our minds not to have to worry about customers being without their TV. Pat was a nurse at St. John's Hospital in Springfield. Her father was an osteopath. I'd never heard of that and she explained that he was a doctor who healed by manipulating the body. She was into classical music and turned me onto Shostakovich. Both of them were very intelligent and entertaining, and always fun to be with.

After about three and a half weeks in the hospital, Michael was discharged. He was not well, but he was better. We only found out a few weeks after his discharge that the doctor had finally made a diagnosis of histoplasmosis, an air-borne virus (usually carried in pigeon feces). We do not like pigeons EVER. Michael's case had baffled them because his symptoms weren't typical of histoplasmosis. We were told that the doctor wrote up his case in a journal. My WHH is famous! ;0)

We had our business until 1981. We decided to sell our inventory and equipment to another generous TV guy in Girard, Mr. Weller, when WHH was asked to move to Chicago to work directly for the manufacturer as a Technical Advisor. That job description was to take phone calls all day and tell "butt-crack TV repairmen" how to fix problem sets.

Back then, there were no internets and email. Only long-distance (which we couldn't afford) and the U.S. Post Office. We eventually lost touch with Ed and Pat. We've moved so many times after that it'd be tough for anyone to keep up with us.

After all of this reminiscing, I Googled Ed. Their last name is unusual, if any Eds turned up, it'd most likely be him. The second listing had their names. I found them! I clicked on the "American Girl" link and soon realized that it was not going to be one of those cases where we could reconnect with old friends.

Sadly, Pat died last year after a long battle against breast cancer. I'm shocked and very sad, she was a remarkable woman and her story is truly inspiring. I hope you'll take a bit of time to read the article. I'm glad that we were friends even though it was only for a brief time of her too-short life.

Once again, though, I'm baffled as to why this great country of ours can't seem to care for its citizens. Our friends in Romania have health care for all at no charge. Romania for goodness sakes, a country with a turbulent history almost since the beginning of time!

Thirty years ago, I had insurance through my employer. We were poor, my husband was in the hospital for a month, but I was able to pay our hospital bills without declaring bankruptcy. That would never happen today.