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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Nightmare on Anderson...the Curse of Evil Agent "Miss E"

SONOFA..........I really want to choke somebody! Honestly, these past two days have been horrible. I've moved jillions of times, but I swear to God, nothing has been as much of a hassle as this move. My feet are killing me, I'm not kidding. My feet and ankles are burning! What is up with that, huh?

Not really a jillion times............just from Indianapolis, Carlinville, IL, Chicago, L.A., Tennessee, New York, Atlanta, and now Singapore, and a few places within the towns we were living.

We were not supposed to "hand over" the old place until tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. Well, I just had a feeling that that was not going to be the case since we're dealing with the Evil Agent. So, yesterday, when Mr. D, the boss man of the packer/mover guys wanted to wait until today pack up the kitchen, laundry room, storage area, and bathrooms, I had to say, "You know, we have to be OUT of this place tomorrow.' He said, "By 11?" and I said, "Yes, by 11 because I have to clean the place for inspection."

All I wanted was to make sure everything was packed up. Then, first thing in the morning, they could bring the stupid-big-ass sofa we bought 4 years ago along with all of the other stuff. These guys were NOT slackers. We have "too many stuffs". I knew it was going to take longer than they thought. Mr. D had already had to request more boxes because the "estimator" underestimated.

I went downstairs then to begin unpacking stuff in the kitchen, and I noticed a bunch of yellowish-ickiness that I HAD to clean with my handy-dandy SANITARY latex gloves and the always-at-the-ready Clorox Bleach. I let the water run, and run........and run. There is NO EFFING HOT WATER IN THE KITCHEN! I am NOT making this up! NO.HOT.WATER!

I got myself a horrible stomachache. No joke. I really felt sick, but I pushed on through. Whaddya' gonna' do uh? You make the best of what you've got. So, I continued spraying the crap out of everything with Clorox CleanUp and some 409. Didn't do a thing. I decided to try unpacking some more so that I could find our "morning stuff".

That's when I realized that the smell that was coming from the cabinets was from a fumigation! Yes, for TERMITES AND I saw creepy tiny bugs crawling around where I'm supposed to put my kitchen stuff!! I'm not making this up either! My stomachache worsened, and I started to get a headache (they're both coming back as I write this). I've heard too many stories of ex-pats losing valuable furnishings due to termite infestation. To be honest, I don't think there's an active colony, but there was one because a lot of the boards in the cabinets are "mooshy".

Michael came home, and I told him about the hot water and termite issues. He started running the water on both sides (I did that),then started flipping breaker switches (I already did that too), and then looking around for the pipes. He found pipes, but no hot water heater. NO HOT WATER-HEATER! How can you not have HOT WATER in a kitchen???

After we discussed that for quite a while, I realized that I hadn't seen the packer/mover guys in quite some time, and it was about 8 p.m. I finally found one of the helpers and asked him where the bossman was, and he peered up the stairwell. Holy crap! Those guys were carrying down the stupid-big-ass sofa down -- 20 FLOORS! They hadn't had a break since about 1 when they ate their lunch! I felt horrible, really, I didn't want them to do that! I only wanted everything ready-to-go first thing in the morning. Michael may beg to differ, but I am NOT a slave-driver!

When they finally made it down here, I apologized profusely. One of the guys said, "We won't have as many men tomorrow, so we wanted to get this done tonight." I really didn't believe him. When they left, Michael tipped Mr. D a substantial sum to share with his crew, and told them all to get some dinner and a beer.


Now, I know you're thinking...."Mike and Diana are living in the slums! Gotta be, who doesn't have hot water or windows in their home?" Well, you would be INCORRECTOMUNDO. This is a luxury condo! Yessiree!

In Asia, most people do not own washer/dryers the way Americans do. It's simply too costly and wasteful. Many Europeans don't have dryers. They hang their stuff to dry. The laundry room in this place is a goofy mish-mash.....the washer is on the right-side by the back door, the DISHwasher is to the left of it, and the dryer is on the other side (without the "venting" thingy--lint just goes all over the place). Oh, and there IS NO WINDOW in the laundry area. I'm not talking about it being dark. I'm saying that there is a HUGE opening where a window should be. Apparently, the window was optional 14-15 years ago when this place was built. Well, it's being torn down next year, so there's no chance we'll get a stupid window. We did request one, and they were kind enough to put up a bamboo roller-blind. Maybe it will keep birds out?
The Lint tray that I discovered tonight when washing cleaning stuff

I'm going to have to finish this tomorrow. My feet are still hurting, my neck hurts, my stomach hurts. This just isn't good. I think I'm just too hateful right now to tell the rest of this nasty story (at least it is for me). I will post again tomorrow after the electrician (a different issue) and the black-out-curtain lady have been here. Unless, of course, I hear from the Evil Agent.

Check with you later!


UPDATE: I'll finish the story now that I've had a chance to sleep (5 hours???) on it.

My friend and helper, Jing, came over to clean the "old" place for me. She made sure that everything was cleared out, vacuumed, mopped, and clean. When she finished that, she came down to help me unpack the kitchen. She was a huge help to me, and even managed to make me laugh with her antics.....
(Jing, human "paper compactor")

I just love her! We managed to get all of the boxes in the kitchen unpacked and most things put in the cabinets. It wasn't as difficult as it usually is since the kitchen is almost identical to the one upstairs.

Whilst we were unpacking, one of the agents for us called to ask if we'd moved out yet. I told her that we had, and she said that Evil Agent wanted me to "hand-over" the apartment at 4:30. I knew that was going to happen! I told her that I would be happy to be there at 4:30 to hand the keys over -- just to get this over and done. I'm so tired of her ugly, skankiness (I have to get this venom out of me)!

At 3:30 I took a shower, put on a flowy sundress due to extra poundage from the holidays and not exercising the last week(s). I wanted to look at least half-way presentable to boost my confidence. I went upstairs at 4:25 rather than meet her in the lobby. One thing about that woman, she is always punctual.......she pressed that damn buzzer precisely at 4:30. My agent hadn't arrived yet, but I told her she could go ahead with her inspection.

That evil bitch proceeded to the master bedroom and began slamming doors and drawers. I couldn't believe it. She was truly slamming everything as if she wanted to break something. Five minutes later our agent, I'll call him Mr. Pleasant, arrived. He sought out Evil Agent and they had a brief discussion after which he had to take a phone call. I stood around like an idiot listening to her slam shit around. Mr. Pleasant has since called it her "search and destroy" mission. She made her way into the kitchen and tried to light the stove, not the correct way either. The room was filling with gas. I showed her how to do it. One of the burners has never worked properly, but I never complained about it -- a big mistake, one of many that I won't be making again.

Our book club recently read "The Four Agreements", one of those agreements being "Don't take things personally." Well, I'm sorry to say, that is one of my biggest problems..... I take this kind of thing personally, well, because it is personal! She was nitpicking my housekeeping, my home for the last two damn years! Mr. Pleasant asked her, "Is it the overall cleanliness that you are having a problem with?" She walked away while he was mid-sentence and did not even acknowledge him speaking to her.

After an hour and a half, she said she had to leave for an appointment. Mr. Pleasant asked her to please sign the inspection. Oh no, she couldn't do that without the owner inspecting first. They have seven days to demand repairs, etc. Below is a list of her initial complaints:

  1. The burner on the stove
  2. The lightcovers in the kitchen
  3. Scratch marks on the wood floor in the MBR
  4. Scratches on the wardrobe doors
  5. A wall in the dining room (a picture frame discolored the paint)
  6. A missing back door key
  7. Two burned-out bulbs (I never used the lights and forgot to check them)
  8. Draperies/venetian blinds not cleaned (my bad)

I agreed that we would take care of these things, but she wanted to keep the keys. They are very angry about the lack of two-months notice. Mr. Pleasant informed me yesterday that legally we did not have to give two-months notice because it was the end of our contract -- period. So, it is imperative to her and the owners that they shove these "damages" up our asses!


The [Cherry] Ride said...

What a nightmare. Good luck with the rest of it. It can only get better, right?

Diana said...

We can only hope :D